I’ve been asked by various people what I consider to be the most important word in describing how to be a good parent. Obviously there are many words I could use, but I think the most important word is consistency.
In the dictionary consistency is described as “Agreement with what has already been expressed.” Many parents have expressed frustration with the fact that their children nag them until they can’t stand it anymore. It is a very annoying situation to have your children constantly bothering you with the same question, over and over again.
To solve this problem that all children try at one time or another, I would offer the word consistency. In other words, once your child has asked you a question once, and you have answered, don’t change your mind.
Without realizing it, if a parent says “no” to a request, and the child keeps asking until you say “yes”, you have taught your child to become a nag. Hey, it works! Children are very intelligent and resourceful. They will figure out immediately that if the answer is “no” and they keep asking until Mom or Dad gets frustrated, then the answer will turn into “yes” just to get them to be quiet.
Remember, always be consistent. Once the answer is spoken, remain in agreement with your initial thoughts and stick with it. You will discover the nagging stops. Also, along the same lines, if a child asks Mom for an answer and receives an answer, don’t allow the child to go and ask the other parent the same question, hoping for a different response. Consistency has to happen not only within your own thoughts, but also between both parents. At my house, if one of my children asks me a question and gets an answer, that response is the rule. Period. On the other hand, if one of them asks their Dad about something, his answer is the rule. Double asking is absolutely not allowed. This rule prevents the children from “playing one parent against the other.” Bottom line, once again, consistency. Try it. It works!
Light thought for the day: I had passed out instruments for my preschoolers to use for our marching band activity. Once the class had finished, I was going from one student to the next with my instrument bag, having them put their instrument away. As I approached one little girl, I noticed she was very gently cupping her hands, holding the chicky shake I had given her for marching, in her palms. She was very serious and was staring intently at it. She looked up at me and said, “Miss Fern, is it going to hatch?” I asked her if she thought it was going to hatch. She shook her head yes. I then asked her, “Well, if it hatches, what do you think it will have?” She thought for a minute and said, “More chicky shakes!”