Have you ever heard of the idea of a “talking stick?” I heard about this when my children were young and decided to try it. A “talking stick” prevents a person from being interrupted or overlooked during a discussion. When a family meeting is taking place at the kitchen table, living room, or wherever–the “talking stick” is handed to the person who is talking. (This “talking stick” can actually be a small stick, or anything else you choose to decorate that is small enough to hold in your hand.) When that individual has the “talking stick” in their hand, they “have the floor.” No one is supposed to interrupt them, but instead, hear them out and listen to their point of view and their ideas. Once that person has finished their thoughts, the “talking stick” is passed on to the next person, and then that individual speaks his or her mind. This works extremely well when parents and children as a whole family, sit down to chat about something that is really important to everyone. Without the “talking stick”, frequently the youngest child, or the quietest person, or the shyest person gets mowed right over. Their opinion gets overlooked because the leader of the discussion or the loudest person at the table takes over and talks forever.
I always used the “talking stick” with my family when we would gather for family talks. Not only did it make our discussions pleasant, the kids really enjoyed it because they knew when it was time for them to talk, everyone would be listening–and they loved holding the stick. On top of that, from my oldest child to my youngest child, everyone listened to each other and frequently had a good laugh listening to various viewpoints. I throw this out there as a great idea to keep the family working together. It teaches respect for one another, develops listening skills, talking skills and above all–encourages patience! In addition, it taught each of us not to interrupt. I think this is a skill everyone needs to work on. Learning how to listen with respect, having patience for other’s opinions and learning how to express yourself in front of others are skills that will last a lifetime. The “talking stick” is a way to accomplish all of this while having fun in the safety of your home with your family’s listening ears.
Humorous Note–I used to babysit 2 very young children for a family friend. I would always say to the children, including the babies in their highchairs waiting for lunch, “Patience! I’m getting there. Patience!” One weekend when the 2-year-old was home with her own parents, her mother was preparing lunch for the children and the Mom suddenly got angry about something she was working on in the kitchen. Suddenly her little 2-year-old blurted out, “Patience Mommy, Patience!” Out of the mouths of babes!