Fern Michonski / Fern’s Music
Pre-School Music Education Expert: The Children’s Advocate for Love and Kindness, Inspiring Creativity and Joy.
October 17, 2012—Debating! 
Last night we watched President Obama and Governor Romney in their second debate. The purpose of my blog today has nothing to do with politics, but rather it is about debates that arise between children and their parents.
During my lifetime I have heard the phrase “Because I said so”, many times. I certainly understand that parents get frustrated with their children complaining about certain rules, nagging for a change of the rules and then the parent blurts out, “You are going to do it because I said so.” As for me, I am not a total fan of this response. As with most children, once they get old enough to express themselves well they will start saying things like, “That’s not fair!”, or “Why do we have to do that?” Some parents will answer with “Because I said so.” I never did. I was always willing to open the discussion for debate. I think discussing issues regarding rules and limits with your children develops their skills to work things out with words. It offers the opportunity to see other points of view, and in some cases, I really did change my mind regarding certain rules after hearing their opinion.
I allowed these debates to show my children I respected their feelings and cared enough to hear them out. I wanted to encourage open lines of communication between us. Through our conversations and debates everyone understood that they had to fully listen to each other, discuss the options and never leave the conversation until a solution had been reached. However, once everyone had the opportunity to express themselves, the ultimate decision was up to the parents. My children didn’t always walk away from the debate with a smile on their face, but they did walk away knowing I listened to them. The goal of the debate was respect, and ultimately, we all won.